SOTA c64s01
Text Scrivener Blooms smiled lamely across at Underbrush as the moss-green earth pony simply glared at him, while Luna glowered back and Barry fidgeted wildly. They were in Canterlot, meeting with Underbrush after a short visit with Cheshire, and the charcoal stallion felt horribly intimidated not just by the mogul sitting around a desk so large you could probably land a dragon on it, but the massive shelves full of books, the ornate and pointy furnishings that caged them in, and of course, the enormous portrait of Underbrush himself mounted on the wall behind his desk. Clearly not there because Underbrush had any taste in art, but as both a sign of his wealth... and probably as a very, very, very effective intimidation tactic, with how the goddamn giant picture just glared into your soul. Finally, Underbrush asked distastefully: “So what, precisely, is Ersatz Major doing alive, and why is she dating that ridiculous demon? Did he buy her, is that it?” “You mean the demon you almost bit the ear off of?” Scrivener asked before he could stop himself, and then he immediately grinned awkwardly and leaned back in his seat, mentally cursing his own stupid mouth as Barry slowly turned a horrified look on the charcoal stallion. “I mean. Uh. That demon is... a good friend of ours, Burning Desire, who is... a good friend.” “A good friend.” Underbrush said moodily, and then he shook his head slowly before rubbing at his face, closing his eyes. “Answer my question, Scrivener Blooms.” “We didn't lie about anything. She... she died protecting me. But Burning Desire and some of our other friends brought her back from Helheim. Saved her soul. And... so... she's... here now.” Scrivener said finally, not really wanting to get into the subject with Underbrush as he shifted a little in his seat, and earning a scathing look from the stallion. Underbrush went back to moodily tapping his hoof against the desk, and Luna twitched a little before she asked distastefully: “So why precisely are we here again? Art thou done scolding us, or does thou need to pump us for more details regarding the mare who thou hast apparently never gotten over?” Underbrush's hoof froze against the desk as he slowly turned a glare towards Luna, and Scrivener and Barry both turned almost-disbelieving gapes towards the sapphire mare. But Luna only looked steadily back, and after a few moments, the businesspony snorted and asked mildly: “You've never been dumped, have you Luna Brynhild?” “Nay, but I have left many ponies behind, suffered mine own share of unrequited love, and seen friend, foe, and all between the two die. Many upon or because of my account.” Luna replied calmly, meeting the stallion's eyes. “So do not think that-” “I'll think whatever I goddamn well please.” Underbrush retorted, and then he slammed his hoof against the desk, making several of the gold-plated pens bounce up out of the wells they had been anchored in. “I gave that bitch everything she could ever want, without even caring she was a unicorn. I gave her jewels and treasure and she told me she wasn't like any of the other unicorns from the north, and at first I believed her. But all she wanted was more of everything, to look nicer, to get the better job, to be set up with her own little place. I'm not surprised the materialistic proud-horn ended up in Hell for all of that. I'm more surprised they let her in.” “Come on, that's enough.” Scrivener said quietly, and Underbrush favored him with a dark look. “Ersatz has her flaws, but she's not greedy. I think you know that... and she deserves the chance at redemption Burning Desire is giving her. In fact, I think they're going to do good things for each other. So... let's... let's not go there, okay?” “Don't tell me what to do. You are my employee, I am not yours. Yes, you're a writer, and yes, you get to do whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want, but don't forget that my publishing company owns you and your trademark.” Underbrush said moodily, pointing across at Scrivener. “That makes me your boss.” Scrivener smiled a bit at this, replying quietly: “Ersatz is my family. Family trumps business, Xeric. Unless it's business with my family, I suppose.” The businesspony glared angrily at Scrivener, and Barry began to open his mouth as he leaned forwards, but Underbrush only slammed his hoof against the desk and said icily: “Barter, if I hear you say one word, I'll have you blacklisted and ensure you never work in the publishing business again. You can go roast hay fries at the local Mr. Happy's, do I make myself clear?” Barry whimpered loudly, and Scrivener rubbed slowly at his forehead: it was funny, but Underbrush's threats made him somehow feel less intimidated and more assured of himself. Maybe it was because again, Scrivener was reminded of the unicorn way of doing business: picking on ponies who seemed helpless to do anything in response. Except he wasn't helpless anymore, and... he didn't have to just sit here and take this, did he? Scrivener looked down thoughtfully at this, then over at Luna, who grinned suddenly and widely, nodding rapidly, before the stallion sighed tiredly and said finally: “You have to make this up to me, though. I mean, seriously, you have to do something nice for me for once.” “Oh, Scrivy. I shan't do one nice thing but a hundred.” Luna said with relish, and Underbrush frowned at them as Barry looked up dumbly, before Luna and Scrivener both suddenly grabbed the edge of the desk in front of them, then both ponies hauled upwards with a grunt and flung the desk hard backwards, sending it crashing into Underbrush and knocking him crashing and bouncing backwards out of his throne of a seat. Barry screamed like a filly in horror at this as Underbrush laid dazedly on his back, mouthing wordlessly, before Scrivener giddily leaned over the massive bulwark of a flipped desk and looked down at the businesspony laying amidst a pile of papers and pens. “Underbrush, you're not happy because you're turning into the exact things ponies like you and I tried to run away from. So I've decided that from now on, I'm going to treat you like I would gladly treat those same ponies. You can blacklist me, throw me out, do whatever you want, but I don't need you. The only ponies I really want to actually read whatever drooling idiocy I write down on paper next are ponies like Luna and Twilight and Celestia. Ponies who matter. “Yeah, it was wonderful to be published. It feels amazing to have all these fans out there, to have made an impact. But I'm also not anypony's puppet. Not anymore.” Scrivener shook his head, smiling wider at this thought, getting strength from it before he nodded firmly once. “So I'm going to leave now, and go home. Because I am a writer who sold half a million goddamn books and I don't have one hot wife, I have two, and I fully intend to live the dream and make out with both of them. So. Goodbye. Barry, are you coming?” Barry only mouthed stupidly, as Luna grinned brightly over at the stallion, eyes absolutely glowing with joy as Scrivener turned and strode towards the door. But he only made it halfway across the office before his triumphant exit was ruined somewhat when Underbrush flung himself in an absurdly long tackle into Scrivener's back, knocking him forwards onto his face with a yelp. Underbrush scrambled over him, and Scrivener cursed and bucked the earth pony off before standing up... and wincing, hearing the crack and blinking stupidly at how much the punch Underbrush landed against his face goddamn hurt. He mouthed slowly, then blinked a few more times before Underbrush shouted at him: “We are not done here, and I am no goddamn unicorn!” Underbrush swung a hoof at him again, and Scrivener gritted his teeth as he caught this in his own with a flinch, snapping: “Well you sure as hell act like one! How the hell did you get so rich when your first instinct seems to be to punch the crap out of things that make you angry?” “How the hell do you think you get respect in business? Good lawyers and strong hooves.” Underbrush retorted, throwing another jab at Scrivener, and the charcoal stallion yelped as this caught him across the face before he shoved the smaller, lankier, furiouser earth pony backwards. “You are not allowed to quit!” “I didn't quit, I expected you to fire me!” the charcoal stallion avoided another punch, then grabbed Underbrush by the head and shoved him down against the ground, wincing away like he was holding down a vicious, nasty dog. “Will you calm the hell down?” Underbrush responded to this by yanking backwards and shoving himself to his hooves, then shoving almost face-to-face with Scrivener Blooms, baring his teeth at him. “You listen to me, and you listen good, slave brother. I am nothing like you. I am successful, I am angry, I am not a unicorn, and I am not content to whittle away my time betraying my own race. You want to quit, you quit, but don't you goddamn think I'm going to fire a coward like you.” “What? What?” Scrivener's eyes widened, then he gritted his own teeth and seized Underbrush's collar with his hooves, but the earth pony wasn't fazed in the slightest even as Scrivener yanked him upwards, glaring back at him. “The only race is pony, do you not get that? Yeah, the unicorns up north are complete assholes, but I've learned there's two other good unicorns out there for every bad one, just like there's plenty of assholes like you for every good earth pony!” Underbrush shoved Scrivener hooves away, then he shoved the charcoal stallion backwards, snapping: “And which category do you fall under? Arrogant goddamn horn-polisher!” “Stupid... jerk!” Scrivener retorted after a moment, struggling for words through his disbelief and frustration before he added flatly: “And at least I don't fling chairs out windows and jump on ponies and... and how the hell did you get to be such an asshole, anyway?” “Because I get away with goddamn everything!” Underbrush shouted, stamping a hoof on the ground and snarling across at Scrivener Blooms, and the charcoal stallion simply stared. “Because everyone's so goddamn scared of all this worthless power and money I have, they let me do whatever the hell I please! Because I'm so connected that I might as well run Canterlot myself, I have the goddamn Royal Council trembling in their hooves at the mention of my name and anyone who wants to sue me has to represent themselves, because my legal team will sanction the ground out from beneath the hooves of any lawyer who stands up to me! “Now are you goddamn standing up to me, or are you just a piece of snot coward who can't handle me anymore, and you're trying to run away with your stupid whores to go and make more freakish little babies in that brothel of unicorn horn-licking you call 'home?'” Underbrush snapped, and Scrivener Blooms snarled before he stepped forwards and slammed a hoof into Underbrush's face, snapping his cheekbone and sending him crashing down on his side in a broken heap. There was silence for a few moments before Scrivener stared in horror as he realized what he did, and Barry collapsed in a dead faint out of his chair. Luna was staring stupidly at Scrivener as well... but Underbrush only gave a dry chuckle before he spat out fragments of tooth and a stream of blood, slowly picking himself up and grinning despite the visibly broken bone and bruising forming over the side of his face. “There. Last time I was hit so hard was back when the master found out I spat in his whiskey. Good, reminds me of old times, reminds me that I'm an earth pony, not a unicorn.” There was silence for a few moments as Scrivener simply looked dumbly from Underbrush to his hoof, and then the businesspony spat to the side again, saying calmly: “I want another book from you. I don't give a crowbait's flank what it's about, but I want another book from you and I want it soon, do you understand me? Rose Thorns held up fine: better than I expected, to be honest, poetry press rarely does too well. But you got a good thing going still. Let's play on that, and see if we can keep you turning out writing on a regular schedule.” The charcoal stallion only nodded awkwardly, clearing his throat and shifting lamely before he gave a dumb smile, rubbing slowly at the back of his head. Underbrush only studied him moodily, and then he said distastefully: “And don't call me Xeric again. My name is Underbrush. Maybe you can show a little respect and add a proper title in there, too.” “Yes sir.” Scrivener said ironically, and then he hesitated and looked down at his hoof, adding lamely: “I'm... uh... I'm sorry, by the way.” “Shut up, slave hoof.” Underbrush said distastefully, and Luna bristled even as she grinned over at the businesspony, but Underbrush ignored her as he turned moodily back towards his desk and spat out blood again. “By the way, I'll be taking the cost for cleaning up my office and breaking my jaw out of your next paycheck. Not the teeth, though. You can keep the teeth.” “You know, you could just clean up the office yourself. You're supposed to be a slave hoof like me and all.” Scrivener said before he could stop himself, and Underbrush slowly turned a moody look over his shoulder towards the charcoal stallion, who cleared his throat and nodded awkwardly. “Message received. I'll... just be going now.” “Take his teeth!” Luna almost hissed to Scrivener, nodding excitedly, and the stallion stared at her before the mare huffed and strode over to the glinting, broken fragments of tooth. A blue glow surrounded them, and they lifted into the air before steaming faintly and sparking as Luna concentrated on them, before nodding firmly to herself and slipping them into her flowing mane for safekeeping. Underbrush didn't seem the least bit disturbed or put off by this, moodily looking after Luna before he shook his head and absently rubbed at his swelling, bruised face. For a few moments, Scrivener hesitated, before he finally asked: “So just... Underbrush, why are you such a...” The businesspony looked moody at this, and Scrivener decided to try and rephrase the question. “So precisely when did your business model become 'I should keep the people who punch me in the face' instead of firing me for... I don't know. Cowardice I suppose. Racial inferiority. I'm not really sure what your reasoning is for anything you do, I think you're just a ball of anger and bitterness... with uh, all respect.” “I thought I told you to get out of my office.” Underbrush asked moodily, and Scrivener grinned lamely as Luna sighed and rolled her eyes, before Underbrush snorted and turned away, striding over towards where Barry was laying prone. “Besides, it sounds like you have me all figured out. You see, there are two kinds of ponies in this world... slaves, and kings. And slaves, no matter how successful they are, no matter who they become, no matter what they tell themselves, are still goddamn slaves even if they escape all the kings in the world.” Underbrush kicked Barry in the stomach, making him wheeze and blink, then yelp and scramble to his hooves, cowering away from Underbrush and clearly not understanding what was going on as the stallion continued in his harsh voice: “Slaves got no rights. Slaves can't make themselves refined even in ten thousand dollar suits. Slaves don't deserve good treatment, colt. Because it ain't the shackles on your legs that make you a slave, it's the shackles on your heart and soul, and I've never met a king who didn't wear rags, and a slave who didn't wear a suit. Now get the hell out of my office, Scrivener Blooms, and take this crybaby with you.” “Only you can remove those shackles.” Scrivener said quietly, and when Underbrush gave him a dark look, the charcoal stallion cleared his throat and gestured awkwardly to Barry as the agent looked dumbly back and forth. “Come on Barry. We're getting out of here before we end up in more trouble and I end up getting part of my body chewed off.” Underbrush only glowered as Barry hurried quickly over to the charcoal stallion, almost plowing into him as he grinned awkwardly over his shoulder and opened his mouth, but the glare that Underbrush favored him with made the lanky stallion turn and hurriedly bull Scrivener out as quickly as possible, all-but-hyperventilating. Luna, meanwhile, stayed a moment longer even as Barry shoved Scrivener through the enormous oak double doors that guarded Underbrush's office, and the mare paused before saying gently: “She is safe from thee, Underbrush, with a pony who cares very deeply for her. Perhaps even loves her. Let that be enough.” Underbrush only turned moodily away and made a quick, dismissive gesture, and Luna glowered at him before huffing and turning, striding quickly out through the double doors and into the enormous, unsurprisingly-empty waiting room watched over by a single bored-looking secretary. Even the hyperventilating, whimpering agent didn't seem to catch her interest as Scrivener only looked dryly down at Barry, before he glanced up and asked finally: “Remind me why I ever thought it was a good idea to do something you would do?” “Oh come now, Scrivy. Thou art always like that. Thou gets pushed too far, and thou snaps on some poor, unsuspecting individual.” Luna replied mildly, flicking a hoof disdainfully, and then she turned her eyes towards Barry, adding grumpily: “I suppose that we should bring the child to the ice cream store to settle his nerves, though. At least, that is what we do for my daughter, but my baby Innocence is of much sterner stuff than thou art.” Barry blinked dumbly as he realized this was being directed at him, looking up after a moment and mouthing wordlessly before he held up a hoof... then winced and cowered when Luna leaned forwards and glared at him. “Do not speak. We are going to the ice cream parlor now, and thou shall enjoy thy treat, and thank us for it, and cease they insufferable filly-like whining. Is this understood, Barry Barter?” “Yes, ma'am.” Barry mumbled as he shrank his head down between his shoulders, swallowing nervously and offering a lame grin, before he finally squeaked out: “You're... we're not... he didn't...” “What did I say about the whining?” Luna smacked Barry on the head with a hoof, making him yelp and wince, and Scrivener sighed and looked almost pleadingly over at the mare for a moment, which made her grumble and moodily relent. “Oh, very well, fine. And watch, I shall be perfectly civil and polite. Afterwards, Barry, I would like to insist that thou return to Ponyville with us to see our daughter, who is currently having another playdate, I believe, with Cheeky.” “Clinker.” Scrivener corrected, and Luna only grunted and shrugged: Scrivener knew that Luna knew that she was using the wrong name for the chubby little foal, like she knew that he knew she knew and he was just going to keep correcting her on the matter. In other words, she was seeing how close she could get to the nickname 'Fatty' before he got mad at her, like Twilight did. They were all glad that Innocence finally had a friend, though, even if Clinker was a little... odd. He was one of those big, slow-learning foals, who rarely smiled and didn't seem to communicate very well with others. But Innocence liked him, and even if she was a little rough on him, Bean Counter seemed very, very happy that his son had found someone who he could at least spend time with, although even Twilight had been a little surprised to find out Clinker was actually three years old. Scrivener, Luna, and Barry made their way out of the waiting room and into the halls of the building, the agent calming down little-by-little, and then his worry turning to something more like glee when Scrivener noted that Underbrush did, in fact, want him to put together another book. The agent immediately began rambling away, but Scrivener only tuned him out for now, wondering mildly why the hell Barry wasn't asking any important questions, such as why the hell Underbrush would want to still publish him even after Scrivener had very literally broken his face. The stallion paused thoughtfully at this, but then Luna only gave him an amused look and a gentle nudge with her mind as they strode down the stairs, and Scrivener grunted after a moment, deciding she was probably right. It really was better not to think about things like that: Underbrush was too much of a conundrum even for him, and he thought that even if it was somehow possible to explain away all the crazy earth pony's behavior... part of it was the fact that whether he had lived a hell of a life or not, no matter what kind of hardships he had been though... Xeric Underbrush was still also just an ass at the end of the day. Luna grunted in agreement with this, nodding thoughtfully as they made their way down the steps, before she interrupted Barry irritably: “Scrivener Blooms has already decided precisely what he is going to have published, idiot, cease this... prattling and babbling away. Besides, if thou art so obsessed with having two mares at once, go wander the streets of Canterlot tonight and find two mares selling their wares, thou clearly art well enough off to pay for that sort of thing if only the sex is important to thee.” Barry mouthed wordlessly at this, and Scrivener cleared his throat loudly before Luna continued mildly: “Oh come now, 'tis true enough! Sleipnir always bought plenty of whores, although they were often the ones who paid him. Damn him for being so cheerful and charismatic and simply skillful in that regard. Sometimes I truly do wonder who between myself and my siblings is the better on the fertile battlefield of the bed.” The lanky agent wheezed slowly at this, and Luna huffed at him as Scrivener cleared his throat loudly and looked awkwardly away. This just made the sapphire mare grumble louder before she muttered: “Oh, thou art both just idiots. That is all there is to it.” “Yes. We're the ones there's something clearly wrong with.” Scrivener said mildly, and Luna huffed and bopped him with her horn, making him wince a little as they emerged from the stairwell onto the first floor. “You're such an evil little... thing.” “Thou art an evil thing And thou art fat, too” Luna grumbled, and Scrivener sighed a little before the two flailed at each other childishly for a moment, then both turned down the long hallway, Luna adding huffily: “And now I believe that I require ice cream as well, because thou art both a pile of idiocy. There had best be ice cream nearby. I desire ice cream, and I shan't stop until I get some.” “I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.” Scrivener intoned before he could stop himself, and Luna gave him a dry look for a few moments as they passed into the gorgeous foyer of the building... then threw her head back and yelled loudly, shaking her head wildly back and forth and making the glass statues that lined the red carpet running down the center of this magnificent entrance shudder, ponies wincing and staring in shock at the sapphire mare. Scrivener only grinned awkwardly as he turned bright red, and Barry mouthed wordlessly at Luna before several large, angry-looking security guards approached, but the mare only huffed at them and said flatly: “We are already leaving, fear not. And if thou lays a hoof upon me I shall bend thee over my knee and spank thee.” The guards glared at her, and Luna glared back before Scrivener gently strode over to her and began to slowly push her towards the door, mumbling: “I already punched Underbrush and I don't think anypony else here shares the same nutjob philosophies as him. Let's get out of here before we get arrested, okay, darling? Dearest? Yes?” “Thou art a darling-dearest-yes. And fat. No ice cream for thee.” Luna grumbled but she allowed herself to be pushed towards and out the large revolving door. And, just as when they'd first entered the building, Luna then shoved Scrivener off and trotted quickly back to the revolving door, forgetting her frustrations to childishly shove her way back into it and circle several times as Scrivener sighed and dropped his head slowly, but couldn't help but smile all the same. Her moods were so goddamn wild and she could be so goddamn childish, and yet... she always surprised him into a smile, whether he liked it or not. Then Luna finally stepped back outside from the revolving door, smiling at him and looking like her mood had much improved, while Barry awkwardly came out one of the other doors, approaching them and asking weakly: “Why do you guys have to push every pony's buttons? Why? Just... why?” Scrivener and Luna traded looks, and then they both shrugged before Barry sighed and pointed down the street. “We can take the Celestia Bridge to downtown. There's a whole bunch of food stores and stuff over there.” “What? Celestia Bridge? Damnation, I refuse to stride across a bridge named after my sister!” Luna stomped a hoof, looking outraged. “Where is my bridge? Where is my street, or city? Although 'tis of no surprise at all to hear that her bridge leads to food. Celestia is-” “You really need to learn a new insult, Luna.” Scrivener remarked mildly, and the sapphire mare glowered before Scrivener gestured at Barry. “Lead the way.” Luna did eventually consent to crossing Celestia Bridge, if only because she badly wanted ice cream, but she complained the entire time, stomping her hooves and concentrating magic into her crystal horn so she could scratch up the supports when they passed and cut her name in runes along one of the larger girders. But she cheered up when they strode off the bridge and to an intersection filled with booths of candy and chocolate and all kinds of treats, set up in front of specialty stores and bakeries and sweet shoppes... Luna sampled quite a bit of everything, and Scrivener knew the last thing he should be encouraging was her pickpocketing, but it always amused him when she put her old skills to use. She stormed up, loudly and brazenly demanding free samples from the various ponies, then she would flick her mane so the starry locks twisted upwards and settled over part of their stand and some of whatever was on sale, usually going completely unnoticed. Then she would flick her mane back and storm off, whether they gave her a sample or not. Eventually they headed to the ice cream parlor nearby, and once they were comfortably seated at a booth, Luna shook her head wildly before her mane twisted forwards and sparked, spilling all kinds of candy and chocolates and other treats out onto the table in front of them. She grinned happily at this, licking her lips slowly as Barry gaped and Scrivener said mildly: “I don't know why, but I always find it kind of cute when you steal stuff. Not big stuff, but little things like this. You're a trickster.” “Aye, I am. 'Tis wonderful. And thou hast my thanks for not lecturing me today about how I am a bad little filly.” Luna grinned after a moment as she unwrapped a chocolate bar, raising this up to her mouth and slowly licking up the side of it. “Thou can tell me what a naughty girl I am later.” Scrivener cleared his throat at this, then he reached out and gently patted Barry's shoulder as the agent mouthed slowly. “Uh, Barry? Why don't you go get us ice cream stuff. I like vanilla, Luna likes... well, just get whatever has the most sugar in it for her.” Barry nodded lamely after a few moments, then he turned and pushed himself out of the booth as Luna looked with entertainment over at the lanky agent. Scrivener paused, glancing over the candy pile, and then he reached out and absently picked up one of the lollipops, saying mildly: “You know, you really do have more than enough of this stuff at home, though.” “Aye, I do.” Luna paused, then glanced over at a foal who was staring at her and her pile of candies at the table across from them, and she smiled after a moment, sweeping up a chocolate bar and tossing it to the young colt. He blinked in surprise as he caught it more as a reflex than anything else, then he smiled brightly and nodded several times before happily unwrapping it and beginning to eat, Luna laughing and returning her eyes to Scrivener. “But 'tis such a fun game. And candy tastes sweeter when 'tis the reward, Scrivy. I wish that monsters became candy when they died, so we could have something to look forwards to when the battle ends, no matter what.” “You are so weird.” the stallion said mildly, and Luna shrugged agreeably before he unwrapped the lollipop and slipped it into his jaws, rolling it thoughtfully back and forth before adding meditatively: “I should probably be more frustrated with you than I am right now. I know in the past I would have been. But either your emotions are mixing more into mine these days, or I'm just still elated from the whole Underbrush incident. Even though he does kind of scare me.” “He scares me a little as well, if thou wants the honest truth, Scrivy.” Luna said mildly after a moment, and the stallion cocked his head curiously. “He reminds me of the old war-dogs that became Barons, not by choice but because of their age and the clamor of their own people. Forced to be a noble despite wanting nothing to do with it, trying to act as preening peacocks when they are truly hawks and eagles. They became bitter and grudging and furious, sick of the part they played in the world and keeping those close to them who reminded them most of the old days, doing whatever it took to get a glimpse of the past.” “I don't think Underbrush wants to go back to being a slave. But I do think he wants to go back to being a slave hoof, if that makes any sense.” Scrivener said after a moment, and Luna nodded in agreement, not needing to read into his emotions as she smiled across at him. The stallion paused, then rubbed thoughtfully at his features, murmuring: “Huh. You know, for the first time I think that I get why Sleipnir always says that sometimes being called a slave hoof brings back good memories for him, instead of just bad ones. You know, apart from how that's just what earth ponies were called in the old days and everything.” Luna laughed quietly at this, replying easily: “Aye, but my brother has always been... silly, as thou knows. And special. Even by our standards, he is special.” Luna paused thoughtfully, then took a large bite out of her chocolate bar and chewed slowly as she fell into quiet. There was silence for a few moments, apart from the sounds of conversation around them from the happy ponies around the store, and Barry fumbling his way through ordering ice cream at the counter, before Scrivener glanced up and asked softly: “You're worried about Thesis, aren't you?” “Thesis, Nightmare Moon, Valthrudnir. I worry about much.” Luna replied quietly, glancing out the window and watching several Royal Guards stride by, with a few foals following behind them dressed in cardboard armor, imitating the soldiers. “Thesis still has not attacked us, and Cowlick has prepared and stored all the White Matter she can, weaponized the rest. Celestia is finishing training Eventide herself, Selene has readied an army of demons for us, Kvasir is doing... well... something. I do not even have the heart to mock however he may be trying to help us from Valhalla, though. There is too much at stake, and it feels too possible that soon...” “We're going to end up in trouble again, yeah.” Scrivener hesitated, then he looked down at his hoof before saying quietly: “Maybe... maybe it's just because... I'm nervous about things... but do you ever get the feeling that something else is going on, Luna? I mean... I can't explain it or anything, but I have this strange sensation that... Thesis is up to something right now. That the reason he isn't focusing on us is because he's focused on something else, he's got some... plan of some kind he's putting into action. He's making... adjustments.” Scrivener looked up awkwardly after a moment, expecting to be mocked, but Luna only looked across at him seriously before she said softly: “Those are thy instincts, Scrivy. No, they do not make sense, but that does not mean they are not right. And thou art more attuned to Thesis than I am, because of what thou art. And loathe as I am to do this... perhaps we should speak to Celestia. Tell her of this, and ask her to speak to Kvasir for us, if nothing else.” The stallion nodded hesitantly, reaching his hoof out, and Luna smiled as she took it gently in her own, the two studying each other in silence for a few moments. “'Tis a dangerous time for us, Scrivener Blooms. But we shall push through, as we always do. After all, it seems to be what we do best, surviving against terrible odds with all the world against us.” “Except for all the times we haven't.” Scrivener said blandly, and Luna grumbled, flicking her horn to send a peppermint shooting off the table and right into Scrivener's eye, the stallion blinking rapidly and grabbing at his face with a curse. “Uncalled for.” Barry returned a few short minutes later with several bowls of ice cream: some caramel rocky road fudge mess for Luna that she delighted in, plain vanilla for Scrivener, and frozen yogurt for himself. Luna broke up several chocolate bars over her already-extremely-sweet treat as she scowled over at Barry, chastising: “What art thou, some fancy filly who has to fit into her dress? And for a rich stallion thou does not even have a stomach, much less a gut. Where is thy fat?” “I thought being fat was a bad thing.” Barry said dumbly, and Luna shrugged, raising a hoof and tilting it back and forth as Scrivener sighed and swirled his ice cream. “'Tis... 'tis both. 'Tis good and 'tis bad.” Luna said finally. “Those who were fat in the old days were mostly those who were well-off. So it could be a sign that one is doing well for one's self. But it could also be seen as laziness and overindulgence and many other things.” “You really don't want to get into this subject with Luna. She's a hypocrite.” Scrivener said mildly, and Luna glared at him before flinging a bit of ice cream at him with her spoon, making him scowl as it splatted against his chest. “I hate you sometimes.” “Good. All romance and mastery is made of love and hate. Thou must love me as thy wife but hate me as thy superior.” Luna flung a bit of ice cream at him again, this time hitting his platinum collar, and Scrivener grumbled as he grabbed a napkin to quickly clean this off before he balled the used paper towel up and tossed it back at the sapphire mare. She glared at it, and it burst into blue flames in midair, disintegrating rapidly into nothing as Barry squeaked, but Scrivener only calmly began to eat his ice cream as Luna huffed, then picked up her bowl to start eating herself. The three settled, though, Barry now used to Luna's sporadic changes of mood and the random bouts of violent love between the two. He felt almost comfortable with them... although he was still shy as hell, and not completely certain where he fell in Scrivener's mind. So it took him a few moments to work up the courage to finally ask the question that had been bothering him for a while now: “So what... what book are you thinking of selling to Underbrush next then, champ? I mean... if you've already decided, does that mean...” “Well, I recorded that full history about Sleipnir I still have in the office upstairs. It's a whole saga... focuses on him a lot, but gets into all kinds of things that he, Celestia, and Luna all did together over their five hundred years of journeying and adventuring.” Scrivener replied, smiling over at Luna, and the sapphire mare nodded firmly a few times. “I don't think Sleipnir would have a problem with it. It could sell as fantasy, if no one wanted to believe this is a real history of the past.” Barry laughed a little at this, but then he nodded and rubbed slowly at his features, giving a small smile over to Scrivener Blooms. “Okay, champ. Tell you what, then, you get it over to me, I'll put it through editing, and then we'll submit it on over to Underbrush, how's that sound to you?” Scrivener nodded, then he asked mildly: “Does that mean you're going to actually read it, Barry? Or even maybe just a chapter of the story this time?” “Hey, big guy, take it easy! I read a good bit of that other story of yours and all, didn't I?” Barry replied in an injured voice, touching his own chest. “And I definitely read most of that Rose Thorns book, even if I didn't understand half the damn poems. I still wanna know what the 'giant's grater' refers to. You got a lot of weird references to books I don't think even exist in this Equestria anymore.” “Some of them should. And hey, lots of stories are passed down orally still.” Scrivener said pointedly, before he glowered over at Luna when she giggled stupidly. “Can you... you know... like, try and get your brain out of the gutter?” “Nay.” Luna said staunchly, and then she glowered down at her mostly-melted ice cream. “Look at this! It is turning to sludge already. And the pieces of chocolate are beginning to resemble that which comes out, not that which should go in. Damnation, I cannot eat something that looks like cold sewage, Scrivy. 'Tis gross and foul and loathsome and ick.” “You mean like your cooking?” Scrivener asked in a mutter, and Luna glared at him before she flung her spoon at the stallion. He winced and dodged to the side, and there was a yelp as the ice-cream covered spoon splatted loudly into the mane of the mare sitting in the booth behind him. Luna's eyes widened at this, and then she hurriedly swept up as much of her candy as possible before scrambling out of the booth and towards the door, and Scrivener grinned embarrassedly over his shoulder at the now-furious-looking mare the spoon had hit. “Uh. Sorry.” He paused and picked up a chocolate bar, offering it to her lamely, and when she only glared at him, he carefully put it down on the back of the bench before slowly pushing Barry out of the booth. The two stallions awkwardly hurried to the doors themselves, emerging and then both glaring at where Luna was now safely across the street, waving a hoof at them. Scrivener grumbled, and then he shook his head before glancing at Barry and saying mildly: “Come on then. You can walk back to Ponyville with us, I think Celestia has a copy of the Sleipnir stories, so you can see them and all that. Plus you still have to wish my daughter happy birthday.” “Uh... okay champ, sure, sounds good.” Barry said halfheartedly, but as they crossed the street, he couldn't help but smile a little while following behind the charcoal stallion, feeling oddly positive about everything despite how Scrivener Blooms was by far the most frustrating client he'd ever had... but maybe one of his first real friends, too. Top ↑